A little taken aback, I just nodded and smiled. You see, I’m generally the one who has to listen to the Publisher complain about my need to apply myself “more readily to the task of an editor and less to that of wine reviewer” and I must admit that I always explain that the Daihatsu is The Wife’s car - no real man would drive a dinky SUV like the Terios with any real off-road aspirations; and I am a real man.
“So it’s settled then,” she confirmed, praises still ringing in my ears, “Thursday 11am. And don’t forget that lunch at Cuvee is included.” As I made my way into the Simonsig tasting area it began to dawn on me that I
had possibly made a serious mistake: I had agreed to take my own car (or should that be The Wife’s?) on a 4x4 track that I had attempted previously in a Land Rover and chickened out of. Even if the kind offer of a little bubbly as I entered the tasting area hadn’t distracted me, I would have failed to come up with a suitable exit from the invitation. So Thursday 11am was diarised and washed down with another sample.
The Land Rover eXperience is essentially a marketing programme run by Land Rover that offers 4x4 SUV owners an opportunity to receive specialist 4x4 training in either their own vehicles or those of Land Rover. What’s more impressive than the fact that there are eXperience centres all over the world, is that the introductory course is offered free to anyone with a 4x4 SUV bought after 2005. I’m not sure how it works at other centres, but the one based at Simonsig concludes with lunch at Cuvee and a little bubbly to settle the nerves.
The track itself is not particularly difficult – it’s the culmination of an introductory course aimed at the first-time off-roader after all – but it is designed to give both car and driver an overall workout and to demonstrate the kinds of techniques that bundu-bashers need to have comfortably under the belt.
A short dusty drive through some of the Simonsig vineyards and over a train track brought me to the start of the course. Having crossed the train track successfully I demonstrate my excitement at having dealt with the first obstacle with such ease by employing the kind of air-punch that Windhoek Lager drinkers are barred from entertaining. The course presenter for the day, and ace 4x4 guy, Wynand, uses his walkie-talkie to gently (but publically) point out that the first obstacle is in fact the “small incline ahead” of me. The incline turns out to be the near side of a dam wall that must be all of 3 metres high and appears practically vertical from a distance. The old school joke about the pirate’s brown pants comes to mind.
Wynand proceeds to use instructions like “maintain your momentum”, “keep your wheels straight” and “don’t panic” and by the time I open my eyes the obstacle is behind me. Had I been able to let go of the steering wheel, another air-punch would have followed.
From the dam wall the track snakes about a bit to give drivers exposure to some tight corners, rutted and corrugated stretches, a rocky patch that makes those without low-range gearboxes work the clutch and brake like a man dancing in a Weber, and a side incline.
The latter is accompanied with the warning that while some 4x4s can climb 45 degrees, few can manage more than 30, side-on. I try to work out what the angle of the little stretch I am to cover is and give up just before closing my eyes for the second time. Easy as pie the obstacle is navigated and Wynand walks over smiling, he reminds me that if ever I find myself in a similar situation, and the car starts to slip down the slope, I must always remember to steer down; and to open my eyes.
Some way along the track I come upon two drivers, who, having done the theory earlier and taken a spin in one of the impressive Landies on offer, have decided to put an X-Trail through its paces. I jump out with a macho swagger and suggest that the course is a piece of cake. Mark Burrows, an active outdoorsman and the regional rep for Mitsubishi Air Conditioners, smiles and points to something up ahead. “That’s the tough one,” he says solemnly. His brother, Roger, is behind the wheel of the X-Trail and I take his quiet and focussed demeanour as my cue and get back into the Terios.
The term “tough one” turns out to be a bit of a euphemism. In every sense a donga, that needs to be tackled with a touch more speed than will make most feel comfortable, the obstacle essentially gets first the back right and then the front right of the car pointing skyward thanks to a gaping hole that swallows the front left wheel at the point of entry and then literally spits out driver and vehicle in a cloud of dust and expletives. Despite keeping my eyes open (for all five attempts at the damn thing) I can’t actually recall getting through it – but I did. If I had a swagger before, it’s paled into insignificance now and if anyone asks, I drive the Terios, the envy of many a real man…
A short drive later, via another descent and a couple of three-point turns, we find ourselves back at the damn wall, this time to go straight down it and on to Cuvee for a wonderfully tender Chalmar beef lunch and a well-deserved glass of Kaapse Vonkel.
As Mark, Roger and I reflect on the day’s experience I can’t help but look over at my dust and mud-covered Terios and smile. “You’re hooked,” says Mark. And thanks to Wilma, Wynand and the Land Rover eXperience, he’s right!
Contact Wilma van Wyk of the Land Rover eXperience on 021 852 0728 if you have an SUV bought after 2005 and want to know more.
0 comments:
Post a Comment